


Into The Darkness, We Hold The Light

by DreamCatz



Series: Inquisition Tales [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Aka all the sibling sass, BAMF!Sister Trevelyan, Brother-Sister Relationships, Bull is a Good Bro, Cassandra is a good bro, Friends to Lovers, Little Brother Trevelyan, M/M, Momma Josephine, Multi, Sassy Chevalier(s), Strangers to Friends, War Time Feels, confident!cullen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-02-13 16:18:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12987783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamCatz/pseuds/DreamCatz
Summary: Evelyn Trevelyan has always gotten herself into trouble, and her little brother, Ryan, has always been there to help her get out of it. However, how do you help someone who's got a green glowing hand and is the only one who can close the fade rifts across the land? How do you help someone that everyone thinks killed the Divine? What do you do? Well Ryan has got to figure that out, and quickly. Thankfully his sister isn't one for conventional means.Ryan is just holding on for the ride as he follows his sister down the path she's forging for the Inquisition. Her companions are odd, her enemies numerous, but at least there is a good looking Commander to stare at. Right?





	1. Meeting the Inquisition

**Author's Note:**

> This work has no beta reader at the moment, so please excuse any errors you might find. Also, because this is fanfiction, some of the events and characters will be a little occ. Sorry not sorry.  
> *heart*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan meets the Inquisition and makes his own choice.

The first thing Ryan noticed when he got off the boat and took his first steps into Ferelden's land was how much cooler it was than his home in the Free Marches. The winters in the Marches could get cold, that was no question, but Ferelden was further south from the equator and it's winds had a harsher bite to them than the young Trevelyan was used to. The second thing he noticed was the amount of soldiers milling around. Noble houses back home had their own small armies, or a small legion of chevaliers, but Ferelden had a standing army. Seeing all the soldiers wearing the same colors and not the different colors of different houses was rather... odd.

"Lord Trevelyan?" A voice said beside him. The voice of one of his assigned chevaliers. Ryan had been tasked with seeing that his sister was safe and in good health. They'd received her letter, sent by the Inquisition, but his parents had insisted that there be more physical proof that their daughter was staying of her own free will. When leaving home he'd been assigned two chevaliers to escort him to Haven.

"Yes?" Ryan asked. He felt rather foolish and young standing next to his bodyguards. These were men who'd fought in tournaments, trained with other knights, and passed any test they'd been given. Ryan wasn't an infant, he knew how to use a sword, the proof that one was strapped to his side. Yet here he was - standing on the port looking around like a lost child.

"Shall we get horses? Haven is a two day ride from here." The other chevalier spoke, stepping in closer so that Ryan could hear him without him having to shout over the sounds of the nearby dock.

"Yes. We should be off as soon as possible. I'm rather anxious to see this Haven place." Ryan followed the knights as they went about purchasing everything they would need for the ride. Horses, food, more clothing for the cold, and proper equipment to make camp. The knights didn't allow Ryan to lift or pack anything away claiming it was not his job to do but theirs. Again there was the feeling of being a child, but the noble figured that complaining would only cement the view, so he remained quiet.

The horses they obtained were a fine breed. Tall, sure footed, and well mannered. When making camp Ryan would tend to the horses. The knights tried to protest at first, but Ryan quickly shut them down by telling them that if he wasn't doing something then he was going to go crazy. He also may have told them that he was extremely fond of the beasts, and that he took great pride in them being present on his family crest. The two men let him be after that and instead focused on making camp.

The weather was kind to them and with such strong horses the two day trek was cut to a day and a half. Night was falling when Haven came to view. The breach in the distance illuminated the sky with a green tint. It was disturbing to think that his sister had been inside of that thing, had survived the blast at all, and lived. As they approached, one of the knights unfolded the Trevelyan flag and held it high enough to be seen from the gate.

"Wouldn't want them to mistake us for trouble." The knight told Ryan with a chuckle. 

"Oh, but we are." Snickered the other.

"Hush you two." Ryan said with a playful smile. "We need to be professional about this."

"Yes, my Lord." They replied in unison.

The sounds of swords hitting shields echoed as they approached the gates. There was a line of men and women training just to the side of the outside wall. It seemed to be practice rather than honing of skill. Recruits then.

"Getting ready for a battle." One of his knights hummed thoughtfully.

"A battle of what kind?" Ryan mused.

"I suppose we shall have to inquire." The knight quipped back.

The three of them rode though the open gates and made their way to the Chantry. There were whispers and stares that followed them along the way. Ryan straightened his posture in attempt to look more regal. He was a noble from Ostwick, his house the third biggest clan within the Free Marches and the seventh illustrious, it was expected of him to carry himself with purpose. 

Once in front of the Chantry, the three men dismounted smoothly. The knight holding the flag took the reins of the horses and stood outside while the other knight and Ryan entered the building. Candles along the walls and well placed torches kept the inside lit. With night falling it was comforting to not have to worry about fumbling around in the dark. As the two men walked their boots echoed across the floor, alerting bystanders of their arrival. One such bystander was a woman in rather ruffled clothing. With a clipboard in hand she met them halfway and stood before them with an air of elegance.

"Good evening. I'm Josephine Montilyet, Ambassador to the Inquisition forces. I'm afraid I wasn't aware of your arrival, Lord...?" She let the sentence hang for a moment in prompt.

"Trevelyan. Ryan Trevelyan. Youngest brother to Evelyn. I've come to see her." Ryan told the Ambassador.

Josephine looked rather uncomfortable. The look on her face was comparable to as if Ryan had declared the room smelled like bile. Nervously she jotted down something on her clipboard before clearing her throat.

"Well, Lord Trevelyan, Lady Evelyn is rather indisposed at the moment. She-" The Ambassador was cut off by the slamming on the Chantry doors.

In the entrance of the Chantry was Evelyn. The eldest was hanging rather dangerously onto the horns of a large qunari male. Said qunari man was laugh uproariously with a tankard of dark liquid sloshing over the side in one hand. 

"There you are!" Evelyn shouted as she released the horn. The noble woman tilted dangerously as she walked towards her brother, and when it looked like she was going to fall Ryan rushed to her side to catch her before she toppled to the ground. "They told me some guy rode in on a horse with a horse banner. Said he was a pretty type. Knew it was you." She slurred as she threw her arm around his shoulder. "Why are you here? Wait, no, don't tell me. You came to surprise me, right? Yeah. That's it." She said drunkenly. 

"Evie, how much have you had to drink?" Ryan asked incredulously. 

"Not enough." She told him confidently. 

"I think you have. Ambassador, where are her quarters?" Ryan turned his head to the best of his abilities to eye the ruffled lady.

"The cabin to the left of the entrance gate. Center one. I can arrange some accommodations for you and your chevaliers within the hour." The woman seem flustered as she hastily scribbled things onto her paper.

"I will bunk down with my sister, we brought enough to make bedding of our own. Don't fret yourself sick." Ryan told her softly.

"Don't worry milady, we knights will camp outside the cabin of our Lord and Lady." The chevalier added.

"I assure you that it is no problem for me to -" Josephine started. Ryan cut her off.

"I insist. Now if you will excuse me, I need to see my sister off to bed. Someone has to be the rational adult around here." He mumbled the last bit as he sent a hard stare to his sister. Evelyn only gave him a bright smile before planting her face into the side of his neck and giggling.

"Alright." Josephine finally conceded with nod. "We shall see you at breakfast then, Lord Trevelyan? I will make arrangements for you to meet with the other leaders of the Inquisition."

"That sounds wonderful. A good night to you milady Montilyet." Ryan gave a small bow of his head before adjusting his grip on his sibling and walked out of the Chantry.

The cold seemed to sober his sister a small bit if he intake a breath was anything to go by. He was thankful for that, it wouldn't look good he if was seen dragging his sister through the snow unconsciously. Not that him dragging her through the snow drunkenly was much better. Maker above, his parents would have a heart attack if they could see their children now.

"Take the horses to the stable for the night. I'll take care of Evelyn." Ryan told his knights. They gave him a curt bow before doing as told. "Alright you." He pulled his sister higher up on his shoulders. Maker why was she so tall? "Let's get you to bed." Evelyn hummed happily at the mention of her bed.

It was a little tricky trying to walk with Evelyn draped over him. Her footing gave out every third or so step which made them almost crash to the ground. Thankfully Ryan was very well versed and handling his drunken sister and had learned how to quickly regain footing. Reaching her cabin he jiggled the door open and threw her on the bed occupying the nearby wall. 

"Come on, you." He fussed as he turned her over and started unlacing her boots. Once he got her comfortable he drew the covers over her and tucked them in. "You aren't going to be sick in the night are you?" He asked her cautiously. Evie shook her head. "Okay. Good." 

"I missed you." Evelyn said sleepily. "I miss mom and dad, too." 

"Why didn't you come back home?" Ryan asked her as he filled a glass with water and sat it next to her bed.

"Couldn't. They need me. Only one who can close the rifts. People dying, Ry. They need me." She mumbled. "I can't leave them. I just can't. We have to fix this. Stop the demons, stop the war, stop the fear." She continued. "I don't know if I can do it though, Ry. I need help. Stay?" She reached out for his hand. "Please?"

Ryan sighed and let her take his hand. She squeezed it gently before falling into sleep.

"I'll stay." He told the night. "As long as you need me."

* * *

Ryan woke to a loud and pained groan coming from the other side of the room. Rolling over in his bed roll he blinked his eyes open and watched as his sister gripped her head in both of her hands. The first few times she'd gotten drunk in their younger years he'd felt bad for her, but now they were older he just shrugged it off. She was a grown woman after all and she could make her mistakes.

"You remember last night?" He asked her as he got out of his bedding. Evelyn gazed at him for a confused moment before it seemed she remembered what had transpired last night.

"I called you pretty, didn't I?" She asked him with a smile creeping onto her face.

"Yes, you did." Ryan told her as he rummaged through his clothing pack. He needed to change and make himself presentable for breakfast. "I guess I should say thank you? Is it proper to thank one's sibling when they call you pretty?" He asked her jokingly. Evelyn threw a pillow at him as she cracked a laugh.

Both of the Trevelyan siblings lapsed into silence as they prepared for the day. Ryan took one side of the room and Evelyn took the other. Both of them had their backs to each other as they changed and went through their respective grooming routines. Both of them took their turn at the wash basin to splash water on their faces and clean off dirt. Once they were both done they opened the door and stepped out into the cold Ferelden air. The chevaliers were there waiting for them in their armor.

"Mom and Dad sent you with a full escort didn't they?" Evelyn teased.

"We had to be prepared in case there was resistance to my arrival." Ryan told her with a small shrug. 

"You didn't get my letter?" Evelyn asked him as she led their small party up to the Chantry for breakfast.

"We did. Mother and Father just didn't believe it completely. They wanted to make sure that their heir wasn't locked in some prison being forced to write to them." The younger sibling explained. The rouge just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Sounds like them." She muttered as she opened the doors to the Chantry. "I suppose you'll explain what you are doing here to the inner circle at breakfast. Word of advice from me to you. Don't get tense. Some of these guys might seem all tough, or odd, or plain crazy, but they are good people."

Ryan didn't quite know what his sister was trying to warn him of, but he nodded anyways. They entered a side door at the end of the hallway and inside was a large room. The center of the room was taken up by a long table laddered with plates, glasses, and bowls with different foods. Nothing too extravagant mind you. Just bowls of biscuits, a platter of cooked eggs, some different meats, and a tray of gravy. 

Evelyn placed her hand on his shoulder and steered him to the front of the table. She took the head of it and sat him down to her right. 

"Alright everyone." Evelyn called out. The companions that had been watching them curiously now put down their food and gave Evelyn their full attention. "Just wanted to get some introductions out of the way. This here is my younger brother Ryan, third child to my parents and arguably the smartest child." Evelyn gave him a playful smirk when Ryan felt a blush spread on the back of his neck. She knew he wasn't comfortable being complimented! "My parents have sent him to check on me, so he'll be around for a few days. Treat him well."

"Evelyn doesn't talk much of home." The woman sitting across from his said as she eyed him. Her accent was heavily Nevarran. "It is good that she has someone from home here with her. I hope that you'll consider staying with us." The woman was obviously a warrior by her armor, but even her posture was a giveaway. Straight-backed, tight posture, and keen sweeping eyes. "Excuse my manners. I am Cassandra Pentaghast."

"The Right Hand the Divine." Ryan supplied with barely concealed awe. "I've heard of you. It is an honor to meet you in person."

"Former Right Hand." Cassandra corrected him gently. "With no Divine there is no title that accompanies me. I am merely a member of the Inquisition now."

 "Yeah, now we all just call her Seeker." The dwarf beside him supplied through a mouth full of egg. Cassandra gave a disgusted grunt in response to the comment, and the glare that followed made Ryan want to inch away from the dwarf in attempt to find some safety. Surely the seeker wouldn't resort to jumping over the table to strangle him. Surely.

"A dwarf with no beard? Now I can say that I've seen everything." Ryan jibed. A poor and obvious attempt at diffusing the situation. However the dwarf took it all in stride and shot him a side smile.

"It fell down on my chest one day. So there it stays." He said with a wave of his hand. "The name's Varric by the way. Nice to meet you, pretty boy. I'm sure you're gonna fit right in with this rag-tag band of misfits."

"Hey, I take offense to that!" The qunari from the night before shouted from down the table. "My company reserves the right to that title."

"It's true Varric, he copyrighted it and everything." Evelyn declared before stuffing a whole biscuit into her mouth. Ryan was torn between being awed and disgusted by that.

"The name's Bull, by the way. The Iron Bull. I'm the head of The Chargers, the merc group that your sister hired to assist the Inquisition." The qunari explained. "We're a cheery bunch so don't hesitate to pop by and say hello. Just watch out for Dalish, she likes to mark her territory around Shems."

"My name is Solas." The bald elf the other side of Varric said politely. "One of the three mages in the inner circle. It is nice to meet your acquaintance. I agree with Cassandra, it is good for Evelyn to have family beside her. These are trying times."

"Solas is the mage that watched over me while I was unconscious after coming out of the rift. He was the one who theorized that the mark on my hand could close the other rifts." Evelyn supplied. Thankfully she's swallowed the biscuit and wasn't spitting out crumbs. "The other mages aren't here right now. Dorian is a Tevinter mage who helped us gain the support of the mages after defeating a member of the Venatori order. You'll know him when you see him. Dark skin, covered in fashionable clothing, flirty remarks, and he has this way of making everything into a joke of some sort." Evelyn had a small smile on her face as she recounted the mage. He was obviously someone she cared for, and Evelyn had a good read of people, so Ryan would respect that he was a mage of Tevinter. "Then there is Vivienne, whom is the last mage of the inner circle. She was the first enchanter of Montsimmard before joining us. Don't let her get under your skin. She is a woman of very... refined tastes. Address her by her titles, try not to be dirty, and for the love of the Maker don't say anything stupid."

Everyone around the table nodded mutely. Obviously they had all at one point or another caught the sharp end of this woman's tongue.

"Josephine and Leliana wished for me to apologize on their behalf for their absence. They are working on thing in the war room that required immediate attention. Cullen and Blackwall are also out training some new recruits at the moment. They wake up before the sun, so if you'd like to meet them we'd have to go to them. And... I don't know where Sera is. No doubt still asleep, she isn't much of a morning person." Evelyn listed off everyone on her fingers.

"Are you not going to eat Lord Trevelyan?" Cassandra asked from over the table.

"Oh." Ryan startled, he had been listening to everyone that he'd forgotten to make a plate for himself. "Yes, I was just distracted." He admitted before reaching to scoop some eggs onto the plate in front of him. Evelyn tossed a biscuit onto his plate and then poured gravy over it.

He ate silently and quickly as the companions around the table talked among one another. It was clear that there were tensions between Varric and Cassandra, but they also seemed to have a deep respect for one other, which was very interesting for Ryan to see first hand. Iron Bull, or Bull as he'd wanted to be called, was a very brass but knowledgeable warrior. Even with oneeye it seemed that nothing escaped his notice. Solas was very quiet as he sipped his drink, but he didn't seem to be out of place at all, even without speaking he seemed to play a part in communication. Evelyn herself was very vocal in conversation, recalling stories, recounting adventures, and poking jokingly at other companions. The group, no matter how different they seemed to be, jived well together. Ryan was comforted by this. It was nice to know his sister had a good group surrounding her.

Once Ryan finished his breakfast he and Evelyn departed the rest of the group. They were in the main hall of the Chantry when they were stopped by two women. One he recognized as Josephine, and the other he assumed was Leliana.

"Ah, Lord Trevelyan. I was needing to speak with you. I've arranged better quarters for you and your chevaliers. The cabin beside your sisters has been prepared for you. The key." The ambassador proclaimed as she held a brass key in an extended hand. Ryan took it with a curt bow of this head.

"Thank you milady Montilyet. I hope this wasn't a bother for you to do. I'm sure I speak on behalf of myself and my knights when I thank you." Ryan declared. The antivan woman gave him a curt smile in return.

"We apologize for our absence at breakfast this morning, but war halts for no one." Leliana explained as she crossed her hands behind her back. "I am Leliana, one of the advisors of the Inquisition. I see you've met our ambassador, Josie."

"Leliana is our spymaster." Evelyn supplied. Leliana's eyes cut to Evelyn and narrowed. Seems like that wasn't suppose to be common knowledge. "Cullen is the commander to our forces. You'll like him." Evelyn said as she clapped her hand on her brother's shoulder.

"Well, it was nice to finally meet you Nightingale. It is alright if I address you as such, yes?" Ryan inquired politely. Leliana gave him a small smile and nodded her consent.

"I hope you will join us in our efforts, but for now there is work to be done, if you will excuse me." The spymaster walked briskly out of the Chantry with a poise to her step that Ryan could only dream of attaining.

"I as well have work to resume. If you have need of me I will be at my desk." Josephine excused herself with a curt smile as well.

"Great, now we can go find Cullen and Blackwall!" Evelyn exclaimed as she nearly dragged her brother out of the Chantry by his hand. His knights, whom were waiting for his departure, followed close behind them as they exited the front gates. 

The four of them made their way quickly through the snow. The sound of blades crashing against shields and the grunts of the men and women drowned out the crunching under their boots. Over the sounds of training were two male voices barking orders.

"Recruit, you have a shield, use it!"

"Footwork! Watch where you place your feet, don't let your opponent knock you off balance."

"Block, slash, parry! Don't just throw your sword!"

"Stop pulling your blows! Fight honestly! Your enemies will not go easy on you!"

A bear of a man was standing behind a smaller man, nearly a boy, as he showed the lad how to properly grip a sword. "Like this. Firm." The lad nodded his head, adjusted his grip, and then went about slashing at his fellow recruit. With a nod the man stepped back and eyed the approaching group.

"Ah, good to see you Evelyn." The man said. He turned more to greet them. His hair was dark and wild, his beard seemed untamed yet still kept in a way. He was bigger than Ryan by a substantial amount, but the crinkles around his eyes showed a kind spirit lay beneath. 

"Blackwall! My favorite Warden!" Evelyn greeted with open arms.

"Your only Warden." Blackwall grunted.

"Exactly." Evelyn chirped with a beaming smile. "Allow me to introduce you to my younger brother, Ryan."

Blackwall gave Ryan a once over look. To which Ryan shuffled his feet a bit. He wasn't used to being sized up so openly, but it made sense for the warriors here to be looking for men to take up arms.

"A pleasure to meet you Warden Blackwall." Ryan greeted kindly. Blackwall held out his hand and Ryan gave him a firm shake. The Warden gave him a soft smile.

"Always good to have another warrior around, assuming you know how to use that." Blackwall said as he pointed at the sword on the younger Trevelyan's hip. 

"I do, yet I suppose there are a few things you could teach me." Ryan mused. "Training never hurts, at any skill level."

"Very true." Blackwall assured. "You're more than welcome to join us." He motioned at the recruits training. "However, we'll have to find you someone not so green." The Warden mumbled as he stroked his beard in thought.

"Can't he train against you or Cullen? Or perhaps Cassandra!" Evelyn supplied.

"Or my chevaliers." Ryan pointed out as he looked at his knights. Both of which exchanged looks. "What? What's with that look? I could take you." Ryan defended.

"No offense meant, sir, but we wouldn't want to accidentally hurt you. Lord Trevelyan would have our hides should we hurt his son, and your mother... well... I'd rather face a bear barehanded before standing before her wrath." One of his knights proclaimed. Ryan narrowed his eyes to almost slits.

"He's got a point Ryan. Mom can scare a demon back to the void just by looking at it." Evelyn said sagely.

"Speaking of Cullen." Blackwall drawled as he looked over his shoulder. "Cullen! A moment!" The Warden waved over the other instructor.

"Take a break recruits! Get some water, catch your breath, and inspect your gear." The commander ordered before making his way through the snow to the group. 

"Ryan, this is Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition forces." Evelyn introduced as soon as Cullen was close enough.

Ryan found he was a little tongue tied for a moment. The commander was a handsome man. His blond hair was slicked back neatly, alert amber eyes, and a well built form that filled out his armor nicely. He was Ryan's type. Fuck. Evelyn shot him a knowing look, and Ryan was sorely tempted to shove her into the snow.

"Hello Commander." Ryan greeted, extending his hand for a shake. Cullen was firm and warmth radiated through his glove. "A pleasure to meet you. Ryan Trevelyan."

"Pleasure." The Commander echoed back. "I wasn't aware we'd be getting more forces from Clan Trevelyan." He looked at Ryan once over, just as Blackwall had, before shifting his gaze to the knights. "Your chevaliers?" 

"Yes. I present Arthur Wellard, our family's oldest and most experienced knight, and Jordan Galloway, our fiercest knight." Ryan introduced proudly. Both knights bowed their heads respectively. 

"Wonderful." The Commander breathed out. He seemed to visibly relax at this information presented to him. "We sorely need more experienced fighters. The amount of green recruits we have is almost overwhelming. Not that we don't need them, but we are stretched thin when it comes to training."

"Assuming Ryan is staying he can help out." Evelyn quickly cut in.

"He isn't?" Blackwall looked over to Ryan questioningly.

"It is... difficult to say. Mother and Father gave me orders to come home once I'd established Evelyn was well. They are extremely protective of us, but they understand why Evelyn must stay. I, on the other hand..." Ryan trailed off. He looked down at the snow, unable to look the warden in the eyes. He must have seemed like a coward. "I will have to write them. Perhaps they can be persuaded."

Jordan snorted his disbelief to which Ryan sent him a sharp look.

"Sir, knowing your mother, we all know the answer to that. If you wished to stay, it would be against the Lord and Lady's wishes." Arthur supplied softly.

Ryan sighed deeply. 

"You could -" Evelyn started.

"I'll think on it tonight. I'll figure something out." Ryan cut her off. He didn't mean to sound so harsh, but this was something he'd rather not have other people privy to. His sister seemed to pick up on this and nodded her head.

"I understand, not all of us can be the troublemaker." Evelyn said fondly if not a little tightly.

"Blackwall, can you assist the recruits in finding new partners? I have something to discuss with Evelyn." Cullen implored. The Warden nodded his head in assent.

"Should you need anything Ryan, training or otherwise, I am normally found beside the blacksmith. Iron Bull is also in the general area. Good fighter that qunari is." With a final wave the Warden was making his way over to the men and women milling about.

"Be back." Evelyn assured before walking a small distance with Cullen.

Ryan was left alone then with his knights beside him as he struggled internally with his thoughts.

"Copper for your thoughts, sir?" Arthur nudged him.

"I don't know what to do." Ryan signed in defeat. "Evelyn has the weight of the world on her shoulders right now. We've always been there for one another in times of need, but I've never openly defied our parents as she has. I've never disappointed them." The young Trevelyan stared up at the sky. "This is bigger than all of us, but they wouldn't understand!" Ryan growled out through his teeth. "I understand they worry, but that isn't an excuse to be selfish. How many children have died in war? Why is my life more than another's?" Ryan turned and looked at Arthur. The knight simply stood there and gave him a leveled look.

"Whatever you choose, we will stand beside you." Arthur said simply. Jordan nodded. "This is your choice though, and only you can make it."

"I know." Ryan whispered. 

* * *

It was midday and Ryan found himself at a desk in the corner of Josephine's office. The antivan woman was scrawling away at parchment while Ryan sat there staring blankly at his own paper. He was trying to think of what to say to his parents, and so far the only thing on the letter was 'Dear Mother and Father'. Quill in hand he went to write but ended up faltering and pulling his hand back. 

"Is everything alright, Lord Trevelyan?" Josephine asked from her desk.

When had she stopped writing? Maker, Ryan needed to pay more attention to his surroundings.

"Yes, just... trying to find the right words." He supplied lamely. The ambassador gave him a tight smile, clearly humoring him even when his lie was obvious. 

"If I can be of assistance, all you need is ask." She urged. Then she went back to her parchment.

Ryan nodded, even though she wasn't looking at him, before staring down at his paper again. How did one write a letter that would upset their parents? Were they formal? Or blunt? Or perhaps they were written in riddle, so that the disappointment wasn't so abrupt?

With a disgusted grunt Ryan threw the quill into the ink well, stood, and left the office. It was rude of him, but he brushed off Josephine's inquires. His footfalls were heavy through the Chantry and when he exited his knights moved to follow him.

"Don't. I need to be alone." He commanded them. Jordan frowned and Arthur sent him a concerned look, but both men obeyed and let him storm off. 

Ryan wasn't sure where he was going. He didn't want to be around anyone, didn't want people to question his foul mood, and more so he didn't want to ruin anyone else's day with his sharp words. He avoided the tavern and instead made his way out of the gates. Cullen's voice drifted from the side where he trained the recruits. Cassandra was with him now since Blackwall was absent. Not wanted to interrupt them he walked towards the frozen lake and sat at the edge in the snow. It was painfully cold, but Ryan was heated with anger and frustration.

How long Ryan sat there, staring out at the frozen water, was a mystery to him. One moment it was sunny midday and the next there was darkness falling over Haven. His anger long since replaced with dread and a sense of self loathing. 

"Lord Trevelyan?" Cassandra's voice carried over the snow. Ryan looked back and there stood the seeker, a few paces back, staring at him with concern. "You've been absent for awhile. Ambassador Josephine is worried about you. As well as others." The warrior approached him slowly before sinking to the ground to sit beside him. 

"My apologies, Seeker. I didn't mean to worry anyone, I just needed a moment to myself." Ryan assured her.

"You are conflicted." She stated simply.

"Yes." Ryan admitted.

"About?" She inquired.

"I've never disappointed anyone before Cassandra. I don't mean to sound like a pompous child, but I've always met or excelled expectation. I don't know how to disappoint them, my parents I mean, but I've never let Evie down either. She hasn't said it, but I know it would hurt her for me to walk away." Ryan took a deep breath of cold air in. "And, in honesty Seeker, I don't want to walk away. This Inquisition has purpose, a purpose I've not see before, and I admit I would want to be a part of that." Ryan looked at the Seeker with open vulnerability. "There are good people, honorable people that I would give anything to fight beside. Maker, I don't know why this is so hard for me!" He fumed.

"It is difficult. I remember the first time I let someone down. The feeling was harsh. A true taste of the world, it was." The Seeker said slowly, as if carefully choosing her words. "Everyone lets someone down eventually. Disappointment is a part of life, a part of our journey. Your parents might be let down at first, but as you've said, this Inquisition is built to right wrongs, there is honor here within the foundations. I think in time they would see that and be proud of you and Evelyn for taking up this burden."

Ryan nodded slowly. The two warriors sat there for a few moments longer, enjoying the sight of the moon rising over the frozen water.

"It is beautiful here. I never thought of Ferelden much, never thought I would leave the Free Marches, but I'm glad I have." Ryan declared as he stood. "The land is more alive here, despite having faced a blight. No one can say these people aren't resilient." 

Cassandra smiled, as if she knew something Ryan didn't, an inside joke perhaps.

"Fereldans are very resilient. Extremely bull headed too." She chuckled as she got to her feet.

* * *

"I believe I owe you an apology mad'am Josephine." Ryan declared as he entered the office. The Ambassador gave him a bright smile and shook her head before motioning him over to the desk set aside for him. 

"No need, Lord Trevelyan. I'm happy you seem in better spirits. Just, please let us know where you vanish to, your sister was worked up quite a bit when she came to fetch you." The Antiva woman chided.

"Of course." Ryan took his seat and picked up his quill. The words came easy to him now. He left his message simple, but respectful. It told his parents that Evelyn needed his support in these times of war against demons. His sword would be better put to use protecting people, rather than him sitting in banquets. Lastly, his letter apologized for any sorrows his choice would leave with them, but that he loved them dearly, and that his choice was his own.

After letting the ink dry he folded the letter and sealed it in an envelope before placing it before Josephine to be sent in the morning.

With that done he retired to his room for the night, feeling a little lighter than he had earlier in the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a slow start. Next chapter will be filled with a little bit more action.  
> Feedback appreciated!


	2. Closing The Breach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn and the mages must face the breach in the sky.  
> All the while Roderick is being a pain in the ass, Cullen is fuming, everyone is on edge, and Ryan is trying to stop unnecessary bloodshed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long absence. School is killing me, but even then I feel I should have made more time to work on this chapter. I'm not 100% sure I like how I wrote this chapter, but I promise the next one will be better.

Ryan liked Haven. It was an out of the way place filled with people from all over, their stories and experiences interested him greatly. Many here had lost friends and family at the Conclave, but there was so much hope and pride filtering around the place that anything seemed possible. Well, almost anything at least. The breach in the sky was rather formidable and ominous, but the mages of the inner circle and Evelyn had been working around the clock with the mages from the rebellion on a way to close the rift. 

The younger Trevelyan found himself fitting right into the inner circle. He ate breakfast with the others in the morning, then carried out plates for Blackwall and Cullen, while the other two men ate he and Cassandra trained the recruits. The four of them filtered around the recruits, helping and training till a little after midday. Then came lunch, afterwards Ryan trained with either Blackwall, Iron Bull, or Cassandra. Cullen kept busy with paperwork or working with the other advisers. Days ticked away like this. The warrior band became close to one another, including Ryan's knights, whom still shadowed him anywhere he went.

Evelyn was kept busy with her expeditions to the Hinterlands. She secured horses, allies, and made alliances everywhere she went. It was impressive how the Inquisition was growing in both size and influence. Ryan was proud of his sister, and often he found himself forcing her to take a moment to breath. Varric, the rouge, often roped him and his sister into rounds of Wicked Grace to blow off some steam. It was nice, if not for losing so much coin. He would have to learn how the dwarf managed to cheat so well.

The Chargers were also keen on blowing off steam. They often dragged Ryan to the tavern where he and Iron Bull tested each other in wit. The qunari was very witty despite appearance, and when Bull and Dorian got into it sparks flew. The banter, which seemed so hostile, flowed easily between them. Ryan suspected there was something laying under all the banter, but he couldn't put a finger on it, so he let it lay. It wasn't any of his concern anyways.

However, even with all of this there were still people who where a thorn in the side. Grand Chancellor Roderick Asignon was always lurking around, nay saying Evelyn and calling the troops heretics. In the mornings he liked to mill about and chastise the men working under Cullen for being unfaithful to the Chantry. The Commander himself sent back scathing retorts, most of the time resulting in the Chancellor slinking off to bother someone else, but as the days progressed it was obvious that the man's words were getting under Cullen's skin. Ryan wanted to say something, do something, but was afraid he would be over stepping. So instead he stood beside the Commander as he handled Roderick, and when things looked to be spiraling he steered the Commander back to the troops. Raising a hand against the Chancellor would only lead to more problems than solutions.

"I'm going to put him in irons if he doesn't leave in the next 10 minutes." Cullen hissed through clenched teeth. He was rubbing his temples with gloved hands, and he looked as if he were suffering from a massive headache. Ryan wouldn't fault him. This morning Roderick had been unusually ruthless in his remarks. Currently he was in a yelling match with Bull over how qunari could never understand the depths of the Chant of Light. 

With a huff Ryan left the rows of recruits to stand between Roderick and Bull.

"This is ridiculous. High Chancellor, what do you expect to achieve from all this hollering?" Ryan inquired as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I can't begin to explain how disrespectful this Inquisition is to the Chantry to a heretic such as yourself. Your very sister murdered the Divine, and instead of bringing her forward these fools follow her!" Roderick was red in the face by now, but Ryan couldn't tell if it was from the cold or anger. Perhaps both.

"This Inquisition is doing more than the Chantry! Evelyn did not kill the Divine, she was lucky to have survived the blast at the Conclave. You know what is disrespectful? You and your fellow clerics. You should be comforting the people! Helping them! People are suffering out there. By cold, famine, and loss of faith. The Divine is dead, your right, so why are you standing here yelling at the men and women trying to close the breach, trying to help people, when you yourself stand and do nothing?" Ryan advanced on the Chantry man, who stumbled back. "Leave now, before I do something both of us will regret. The next time you come here I'll have you stripped down to your smalls and thrown into the snow. We'll see how the Maker protects you then." Ryan's threat shook the Chancellor, whom masked it well with a huff before storming off without another word.

"Only in smalls? Wow, remind me not to make you mad, kiddo." Bull said with a bit of fondness reflecting in his voice.

"It would be one thing if he was actually contributing to something, or had a point in all of his ramblings, but he doesn't. He's just a bitter man, and our men don't need that kind of attitude rubbing off on them. Everyone is on edge as it is." Ryan supplied with a huff.

"Agreed." The qunari nodded. "The date is getting closer isn't it?" He asked with a sigh. "How you holding up?"

"About the same as you I would assume. The same as everyone." Ryan said as he scanned over the other warriors. Cassandra and Cullen were using themselves as examples on how to face an opponent of different size. Blackwall was lecturing a small group of men about how to use a shield to it's full potential. Arthur and Jordan were working with small groups themselves on different types of sword slashes. "Everyone is tense, we are all worried, but showing it will do nothing. So we tough it up and prepare as best we can." Ryan told Bull evenly.

"You know, for a kid, you're well spoken." Iron Bull rested his hands on his hips, looking down at Ryan with that one keen eye of his. 

"Comes with being a noble." Ryan shrugged. "Most of the time I'm talking out of my ass. Fake it till you make it, right?"

Bull just laughed, slapped him on the back, then moved to train with his boys.

* * *

"Is everything prepared, Commander?" Evelyn asked, looking over to Cullen from the other side of the War Table.

Ryan, Evelyn, Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana stood around the table. Cassandra was busy finishing up some last minute things with Blackwall. 

Cullen nodded his head and went over a lengthy report on the status of the mages, templars, and other soldiers that he'd been working with over the past few weeks. Tomorrow the Inquisition would be mobilizing to face the breach. The tension was thick in the air, no one talked about it, as if ignoring it would make it somewhat more bearable. If they failed... well, in the words of Enchanter Vivienne, there was no room for failure.

"Good." Evelyn's voice tore him from his thoughts. "Good." She repeated, looking at the map as if she'd missed something.

"You should get some rest, sister." Ryan told her softly. The group had been talking for hours now, the candles on the table were waning low. There was nothing left to be said in his opinion.  

"You should stop mothering me." She snapped. Ryan knew he nerves were frayed, but he straightened up and sent her a sharp glare.

"I would, if you'd take better care of yourself." He snapped back.

"I can care for myself." Evelyn leveled her own glare at him. Ha! As if that would affect him.

"Yes, because staying up into the late hours before a big fight is taking care of one's self." He spat at her. "Don't be a child."

Evelyn looked like she was about to snap, but as fast as the anger entered her posture it fled.

"Right." She sighed, letting her shoulders sag. "You're right, dammit." She groaned. "We should all reconvene in the morning before leaving Haven. Goodnight everyone." She bid as she left out of the War Room.

Ryan watched her leave before letting out a long breath of his own. Josephine sent him a small smile as she departed as well. Leliana followed her shortly, giving the young Trevelyan a nod. Cullen was still hunched over the table, examining the pieces with a critical eye. The younger warrior approached the Commander, coming to stand beside him, peering down at the pieces as if they would tell him the secrets that Cullen seemed to know.

"I never did thank you." Cullen said almost absently, not bothering to lift his gaze from the table.

"For?" Ryan was a little confused as to what Cullen was referring to. Perhaps the breakfast platters?

"Not letting me kill Roderick. That man was... _is_ infuriating." The Commander sighed out as he straightened his back. Ryan huffed a laugh.

"Well I figured it wouldn't be good for moral for the men to watch you cut down an old man. Although there were times I wanted to do so myself." Ryan admitted.

Cullen turned his head and gave Ryan a quirked grin. It was rare that Cullen smiled, but when he did Ryan coveted them. It was like getting the air punched out of his gut in the best possible way. The Commander really was too handsome for his own good. The golden locks, the amber eyes, all topped off by the man himself, the selfless devotion, the way Cullen gave everything he had to helping his men. It was too much to be the center of attention in those eyes. So Ryan dropped his gaze to the map and tried to fight down the flush creeping up his neck and face.

"I think it is time we retired to bed as well." Cullen conceded. Ryan almost choked on his spit, but managed to recover at the last moment. Cullen hadn't meant it like that, but damn if that didn't put images into Ryan's mind. Images that were wholly inappropriate considering tomorrows plan.

"Right." Ryan nodded his head, gave Cullen a small timid smile, and exited the War Room before he could say, or do, something stupid.

Thank the Maker Evelyn hadn't been there to see or hear any of that. Ryan would _never_ be able to scrub the flush off his face otherwise.

* * *

The next morning was rough for Ryan. He'd spent the night pacing his room or laying in bed staring at the wall. His mind didn't want to stop thinking about all the things that could possibly go wrong. What if Evelyn's mark wasn't strong enough? What if it was too strong? What if there were too many demons for them to handle, or if the mages got possessed? Would the mark close the Breach or expand it? Maybe Evelyn would be able to close the Breach. Yet, would it end her life in doing so?

The young Trevelyan got a precious few hours of sleep, but by the time he was to rise he felt like a rock had been placed in his chest where his heart should have been. Getting dressed and groomed for the day was done quickly, and he left his cabin before the sun broke over the horizon. It was still dark outside, but there was movement all around Haven. Scouts and troops securing their supplies and equipment for the trek. Cooks and healers were taking stock of their supplies and noting down things they would have to procure last minute.

The Chargers were hanging around the gate with Iron Bull going over maneuvers and their own set of tactics. Krem shot him a reassuring smile when he made eye contact. Ryan gave him a thankful nod before heading up the path to the Chantry. Varric was outside, standing by his fire and watching the flames lick the wood away to ash. At the sound of his boots crunching new fallen snow the dwarf looked up and greeted him.

"Morning, pretty boy." He greeted, his voice was sleep rough.

"Morning, Varric. Have you eaten yet?" Ryan asked as he curled himself in close to the flames. It was chillier today than the few days before so he wore a thicker coat than normal. He was pleased to see he wasn't the only one affected by the cold. Varric himself had a thicker coat and his normally exposed chest was hidden behind a closed shirt.

"Not really feeling up to stomaching anything, but I'll force something down before the trek to the Temple of Sacred Ashes." The rouge crossed his hands over his chest. "How you feeling?"

"Feeling like this is the make it or break it moment. Either we succeed and close the Breach, or we fail and end up destroying ourselves." Ryan watched the flames destroy the smallest log in the fire before smiling softly. "I'm not afraid we'll fail though." He admitted in a soft voice.

"You're afraid of something, kid, you look like nug shit. You didn't sleep well, obviously." Varric pointed out.

"I'm afraid we'll close the Breach, but with a cost." Ryan stopped the frown from cracking over his face. "I'm afraid it will be too much for Evie. The mark might kill her, but I know that if that is what it takes... she'll do it. And that scares me. But if it was me, I know I'd do it too."

"You both are cut from the same cloth. Is it a Trevelyan thing to be so self-sacrificing?" Varric hummed thoughtfully as he stared into the fire. Ryan cracked a small chuckle.

"Nah, just me and Evie are that way. I think that's why we both got along so well, and it is also why our parents never let us out of their sights." The young warrior stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat. "I need to check in with Evie, don't forget to eat." 

Varric nodded his head and sent him off with an easy wave of the hand. As Ryan entered the Chantry he noted different people scurrying around with notes and missives. Troops, spies, requisition agents, messengers, and scouts alike where here and there. Some lounging, some talking, others writing down words on paper, the rest checking over weapons and gear. 

The door to the War Room was barely cracked open, but Ryan took that as an invitation to enter. Evelyn was standing between Cassandra and Liliana as they mapped out where mages would be positioned around the rift once they got to the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Josephine was behind the three women jotting down finalized coordinates. Cullen was pouring his attention over the map, seemingly trying to decide the easiest and quickest route to the Temple.

Ryan decided to join by his side and offer what little help he could. His knowledge of the land was limited, but he'd taken some of the roads to get to Haven and knew of their conditions. The Commander didn't say anything to him, but he silently moved over to allow Ryan more access to the table.

"Ryan!" Evelyn chirped happily. "I didn't hear you come in."

"You seemed to be pretty entrenched in what you were doing, I didn't want to bother you." He supplied with a soft smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Rested and ready. We've just finished with positioning, Josephine will have the map passed along the ranks of the mages so everyone will know where to be when we reach the Temple. Have you and the Commander found us a suitable path?" Evelyn gave him an eyebrow waggle when she mentioned Cullen. Ryan's face heated quickly and he shot her his best attempt at a scathing glare. Thank the Maker Cullen was still staring at the map.

"Yes, Herald. We'll use -" Ryan tuned out what Cullen was saying and just watched as he outline to Evelyn what roads and trails they would be following to reach the Temple. It was nice to just watch the man move and exist. 

 _Maker, I've got it bad._ He mused mournfully.

* * *

The trek to the Temple was rather uneventful and Ryan wasn't sure if he was glad for it or not. Other than the occasional mad wolf or cave spider nothing approached the caravan of Inquisition troops. The silence really put him on edge, and from the way Cassandra and Blackwall were peering around they seemed to be in a similar state. The mages, however, appeared to be in a more firm and calm mindset. Vivienne and Grand Enchanter Fiona had done a good job at rallying the mages and keeping them from losing their heads.

Though, if Ryan were being honest he suspected that these selected mages were made of tougher stuff than they seemed. When he was a child he'd been told to always be wary of mages, to always never let his guard down, but Ryan has seen what mages can do. Yes, they could become abominations, but they could also save a mother and child's life during hard births, they could heal burns and stitch together flesh faster than any thread and needle. 

These mages have already faced demons and it was too late to turn back. The breach needed to be closed if there was to be any peace restored to Thedas. 

Once they reached the Temple the mages got into position around the higher walls, a safe distance from where the breach would pour out demons if they failed. Evelyn was on the ground level with Solas, Dorian, and Vivienne behind her. The inner circle mages had vowed to have her back personally in case things went sideways on them. Cassandra, Blackwall, and Iron Bull were stationed to the right of Evelyn. Arthur and Jordan were to the left. Cullen and himself were in front.

As Solas began to explain to the mages where to focus their energies Ryan felt himself tense up. This was it. This was happening. Cullen knocked his shoulder with his shield gently to grab his attention.

"You still with me?" The Commander asked soothingly. He was tense as well, but he appeared ready to fight to the end if that is what was to happen today. Ryan let out a breath through his nose and before he could stop himself he let out a small but tight smile.

"Always." 

Then it began.

Evelyn used her mark to tear open the rift and mages were pouring their energies out in all directions. The air was thick with the feel of magic and as the rift morphed around them Ryan could hear the sounds of demons on the other side. They were hissing, yelling, and whispering all at the same time in one voice. Ryan wanted to throw up, but instead he adjusted his grip on his shield and sword. The rift looked like it was growing, expanding, wrapping around them. For a moment Ryan feared he and Cullen would be swallowed up, but neither of them moved. Then the rift was shrinking rapidly. The hissing of the demons washed away and the feel of magic shrank away. As soon as it began it was over. The green tint of the rift was gone. 

Ryan noticed he was breathing hard. When had he started breathing so hard? Lowering his sword slowly he looked at Cullen, who was staring at him in concern.

"Are you alright?" The Commander asked, placing a hand on Ryan's shoulder to steady him. The younger warrior didn't want to admit that he was feeling light headed, or that he desperately felt the need to puke.

"I've never felt anything like that." He said instead. 

"It was a lot a magic in one concentrated place. We were extremely close to it and you're not a Templar." Cullen seemed to be having an internal battle. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about what would happen to you. I should have foreseen this and had Seeker Cassandra stand with me. Do you need to sit? You look pale." He was speaking quickly now, almost in a small panic of his own. Ryan would have been deeply touched by his concern had he not had concerns of his own. 

"I'll be fine in a moment. It is just nausea and it will pass. I need to find Evie." Ryan choked out. Sheathing his weapon and securing his shield to his back properly he made his way over to his sister. She was currently being supported by Solas and Cassandra.

"That went well." He heard her chuckle weakly. 

"Indeed, but now you must rest. You had a lot of energy taken from you by this endeavor." Solas explained. "We should head back to Haven. Perhaps it would be best if you rode in one of the wagons?"

"I don't want to ride in a wagon. Children of the  _Trevelyan_  linage do not ride in wagons." Evelyn whined pathetically. 

"Then I will ride with you. I can sit behind you in the case that you are too weak to stay astride the horse." Cassandra said with finality. 

"Like when were kids, eh Evie? When you used to have to ride with mother because your grip on the reins was too poor." Ryan ribbed at her. Their eyes turned to him.

"Please. You don't look so hot yourself." His sister badgered back at him. Then Ryan saw evil flash in her eyes. "I think you should ride with the Commander. In the case you can't stay atop your horse." 

"Really?" He groaned. "I'm not that bad. I feel fine." Cassandra let out a disbelieving snort and Solas raised one of his thin eyebrows.

"Not trying to be offensive, dear brother, but you look like you're about to lose the contents in your stomach. You're six shades paler than usual and you're swaying on your feet." Evelyn pointed out.

"I'm fine. It is just some nausea." Ryan said through gritted teeth. "I don't need -"

"You either ride with the Commander or in the back of a wagon." The Seeker told him firmly. The young man didn't have a chance to even argue a point because Cassandra took Evelyn from Solas and started leading the Herald away. 

Everything picked up quickly. Mages were forming back in their ranks with great smiles and happy chatter. Solas and Fiona walked the perimeter of the Temple checking to see that the Breach was truly shut. The wagons were being loaded up with weapons and staffs that some couldn't carry on the trek back. Ryan tried to slink off to his own horse, determined to prove he could ride back on his own, but Cullen morphed by his side the moment he put his foot in the saddle stirrup. 

"Cassandra informed me that we would be riding together." The Commander eyed him. "Are you well? You never did answer me properly."

"Commander, I'm fine. You really don't need to be bothered with me." Ryan tried to assure him. 

"I'd rather we be safe about it. Come. We'll ride my horse." Cullen tilted his head in the direction of his stallion. "Go ahead and put your sword and shield in the front wagon, it'll be easier to ride together."

Ryan did as he was told and handed off his possessions to the scout in charge of the front wagon. Without his sword Ryan felt oddly stripped, although when he looked back at Cullen he noticed the Commander still had his weapon strapped to his side. The younger warrior felt oddly cheated, but pushed the feeling aside. It wasn't practical to have his sword and shield strapped to himself if he'd be riding in front of Cullen.

Cullen's horse was a few hands taller than Ryan's horse. Which almost posed a problem to Ryan, who had a hard time lifting his leg high enough to get into the saddle stirrup. Thankfully he'd made it without too much difficulty and he swiftly pulled himself astride the horse. It wasn't his most graceful mounting, but he was feeling tired now. Cullen swung up on the horse behind him smoothly.

_How does he make it seem so easy?_

All thoughts rushed out of Ryan's head when Cullen pressed in close to him. He could feel the heat pouring off of Cullen though the man's armor. Fucking Ferelden men and their hot bodies. Ryan could feel his brain slowly start to melt as Cullen got himself situated.

"You can take Flint's reins if you'd like. I trust you to lead him." Cullen told Ryan as he settled his hands on the Trevelyan's hip. Ryan nodded mutely, not trusting himself to speak. He took up the horse's reins tightly in hand, but gently nudged the horse to start forward. Cullen's grip tightened minutely as they rode.

Ryan pointedly ignored Evelyn as they traveled back to Haven. He diffidently did not see her sly looks. Or the inappropriate gestures she made when Cullen wasn't paying attention. No, he ignored her, because he wasn't childish like her. He certainly was _not_ planning on shoving her head into the snow when they got back to Haven.

* * *

They made it back to Haven before nightfall. Their arrival sparked a full on celebration where the citizens of Haven pulled out all the stops. There was music, food, dancing, and drinks flowing everywhere. It was nice to see everyone being so happy and filled with joy. This was a huge victory for everyone involved. Ryan was perched on the stone wall over Varric's little fire. Evelyn was laughing uproariously behind him at something the Iron Bull said.

Ryan was grinning from ear to ear as he watched Flissa try and teach Harritt how to dance. The poor blacksmith seemed to be trying so hard not to accidentally step on the tavern owner's feet as he stumbled around. He was cut off from watching them when he saw lights appear over the mountain side. A warning bell rang throughout the town and suddenly everyone happy demeanor was gone. From the front gate area Ryan could hear Cullen calling the soldiers to arms.

Ryan quickly rushed down to the area near the front gate. Opening his quarters he went about pulling on his armor and securing his weapon and shield. Leaving his door open he listened to the outside chatter as he fitted himself. Exiting out of cabin he made his was to stand beside his sister.

"Cullen?" Cassandra gave him a tight questioning look.

"One watch guard reporting, it is a massive force with the bulk of it over the mountain." Cullen supplied quickly.

"Under what banner?" Josephine inquired.

"None." The Commander told her grimly.

Josephine looked shocked at the information, but Ryan could understand. A force of that size attacking their establishment without flying a banner? That wasn't right and it set the young warrior on edge. There was suddenly a banging coming from the gate. Everyone drew their weapons, ready to attack should the gate fall.

"I can't come in unless you open!" A young voice carried over the banging. Evelyn gave her brother a look.

"Don't look at me. I didn't invite anyone." Ryan told her.

"Open the gate!" Evelyn shouted, her daggers at the ready. Ryan hefted his sword as the gates opened.

A young man stood there when the doors opened to him. Bodies of enemies laid around him, torn and broken. The young man's face was mostly hidden behind a huge floppy hat, but wisps of pale blonde hair were visible here and there.

"I'm Cole. I came to warn you. To help. People are coming to hurt you." Cole was speaking quickly, and in short bursts. Ryan briefly wondered if this young boy was mental, but he brushed the thought aside. No one with a mental disability would have been able to dispatch that many enemies on their own.

"What is this? What is going on?" Evelyn asked, effectively cutting off the boy's ramblings. The forces behind them were drawing closer.

"The Templars are coming to kill you." Cole told her quietly. 

"Templars?" Cullen exploded then. He came forward with fury marring his face. Ryan quickly decided he didn't like Cullen's mad face. Under the anger were traces of what looked like pain. "This is the Order's response to us talking with the mages? Attacking blindly?" He accused.

"The Red Templars went to the Elder One." Cole explained, turning to look at Evelyn. "You know him. He knows you. You took his mages." Cole pointed up the mountain to where two figures could be seen standing.

Ryan looked in horror at what he saw. One of the figures was a warrior of some sort, but he was standing beside what looked like a dark spawn. It was unlike anything Ryan had ever seen or read about. This other being had red stone protruding from his body and face, he was tall and thin, just bones covered with sickly skin. 

"He is very angry that you took his mages." Cole mumbled.

"Cullen, give me a plan. Anything!" Evelyn cried, looking to her Commander. Cullen took a deep breath and a sweeping look of the surrounding area.

"Haven is no fortress. If we have any hope of withstanding this assault we must control the battle. Get out there and hit that force. Use everything you've got." Cullen eyed the trebuchet before turning to address the amassing soldiers. "Mages, you have sanction to engage them! That is Samson, he will not make it easy!" Cullen went about ordering the troops and Ryan went to his sister.

"No, you need to stay here." Evelyn told him as he tried to follow. "I need some of my forces here in case stragglers slip back. Bull, Dorian, and Varric with me. Cassandra, take Blackwall and my brother and defend the left side gate. Sera get on the walls and let down some arrows when you can. Vivienne help the Haven people however you can." 

Ryan followed Cassandra and Blackwall, even though he didn't really want to. His gut was screaming for him to go with his sister, to help protect her, but he knew she would be well looked after. Bull and Dorian were a good team together, and they adored his sister to pieces. Varric also had the best aim with that special crossbow of his. 

When the warrior trio made it to the left gate, they saw there was a sizable force already there trying to cut the defensive door down. Cassandra charged first knocking one of the four red Templars to the ground. Blackwall hit from the left, shield bashing an archer before slicing into him. Ryan braced himself as a shield-man slammed into his defense. Ryan felt his feet slid in the snow under him, but he stayed upright. Locking their shields together he swung his opponent to the side. Once the other man was off balance it was easy for Ryan to strike the man under the ribs. There was a little difficulty to get his sword through such thick armor, but his enemy let out a gurgling cry and slumped.

Ryan turned just in time to watch Blackwall and Cassandra cut down the last of the opposing forces. 

"More will show soon. Be ready." Cassandra told them firmly.

They stayed that way for awhile. The enemies came in waves and each time there were more and more. The three of them did well enough on their own, but they were tiring. Blackwall had a cut on his upper arm, the one he holds his sword with, Cassandra's foot had twisted when she stepped into a hole while dodging a sword swing, and Ryan had been hit in the ribs by a mace.

Thankfully, it seemed like Evelyn and her party had been able to secure the trebuchets since half the mountain was skidding down in an avalanche. There were cries of victory from inside Haven walls as they watched the Templar forces get decimated. 

"Let's go." Blackwall motioned for them to head inside and regroup. Just as they were entering the gate there was an earsplitting shriek come from the sky. 

"What the fu-" Ryan lifted his sword, dropping into a defensive stance, but there wasn't anything he could see. 

Well. Until the dragon swooped over them spilling fire from it's maw. The warriors were quick to drop below their shields until the heat was gone. 

"Quickly!" Cassandra cried, running into the town. 

As they entered they could hear the cries of the townsfolk. Red Templars were running around attacking the workers and citizens. 

"How did they get in?" Blackwall yelled as he cut down an archer. 

"The right gate must have fallen." Ryan supplied as he parried a blow from a foot soldier. 

"We'll help as many as we can. Send them to the Chantry, it is the most defensible structure." Cassandra cried, rushing into a throng of enemies and activating her Seeker abilities. 

Ryan lost track of his team as he hacked, slashed, and defended against the corrupted Templars. He could see from the corner of his eye Adan and Minaeve trying to gather supplies to take into the Chantry. However fire rained down from above, and the tail of the dragon swiped down and broke the roof. The splinters of wood rained down and trapped the both of them. With a curse Ryan ran up the steps and pried the wood from off Adan first. He was closer to the lyrium pots, and if the fire reached the substance it would set off an explosion. 

"Come on." Ryan huffed as he lifted the planks. Adan crawled out from under the debris. "Get to the Chantry!" Ryan yelled before moving to lift the wood from Minaeve. As she cleared herself from under the rubble he let the wood fall. 

"The pots!" She yelled, trying to get to the ground quickly. Ryan didn't turn to look, he just reacted. He threw himself over the elven woman and braced for the explosion. Heat washed over his back as the pots went up in flames. His armor did it's job well, and while he felt tender from the heat of the flames, he took stock and noted that he was in one piece.

Getting to his feet he pulled the woman up. Together they ran to the Chantry. Or at least they tried to. Ryan was hit from the side from a foot man and sent into the snow. He heard Minaeve shout, but when he looked she was rooted to the spot in fear. If he recalled correctly, the elven mage had no battle experience. Or if she did, it wasn't enough to be of any use. 

"Go!" Ryan shouted, getting to his feet and grabbing his fallen sword. "Get to the Chantry!" Minaeve looked conflicted, she wanted to help, he could tell.

The foot soldier charged for the woman, and Ryan had to knock her off the path and parry to stop his blade. They clashed like that a few times until the soldier got lucky footing and forced Ryan to his knees. With no shield to protect himself he felt the tip of the Templar's blade carve flesh off his upper arm.

"I can't fight and protect you." The Ryan yelled at Minaeve. This seemed to be enough reason for her, and she turned and rushed to the Chantry. 

The foot soldier pulled back his blade and swung it back down in attempt to cleave Ryan, but the young Trevelyan quickly rolled out of the way. His ribs screamed in agony and for a moment it was like the warrior couldn't breath, yet he didn't stop moving. If he stayed in one place too long he'd be killed. The bloody snow under his feet was slick and he had a hard time staying on balance, but he managed to work a miracle and retrieved his shield from the snow.

With his defense restored Ryan allowed himself some time to just breath while he blocked the blows from the Red Templar. The solider was tiring quickly, clearly having no sense of his own limits, and the warrior just let him lose steam. When the Trevelyan saw his opening he took it. The Templar had his arm raised, ready to bring his sword down in attempt to knock away Ryan's shield, but Ryan quickly sliced the other under the diaphragm, where some of the Templar's armor had been ripped off. The soldier screamed and hit the ground. Ryan silenced him quickly with another blow.

Peering around he took stock of those around him. Straggler troops were heading to the Chantry, there weren't any civilians in sight, the Red Templars were pulling back in attempt to reform their ranks a bit, and Evie and her group were thundering up the steps.

"Status?" Evelyn yelled as she motioned for her companions to head into the Chantry. 

"That dragon screwed us. No civilian casualties that I know of, no idea on the inner circle. Right gate fell first, left and main fell not long after. Opposing forces have withdrawn for now in attempt to regroup, we have maybe a few minutes before they come down again." Ryan stated as he and his sister peered along the mountainside. 

"You see where the dark spawn went?" Evelyn asked as she pulled her brother into the Chantry.

"No. I don't know." Ryan set he shield down and dropped to his knees. He needed to rest before the second wave.

Cole was with Roderick on the side. The Chancellor didn't look good, it appeared he'd been run through with a sword and Ryan felt a weight fall on him. It wasn't likely the Chantry man would survive a wound like that and from the look on the injured man's face, he knew it too.

"He tried to stop a Templar. The blade went deep. He is going to die." Cole said flatly, in that distant far voice he had. Ryan winced as the Chancellor gave the boy a flat look.

"What a charming boy." Roderick drawled.

"Herald!" Everyone turned their head as Cullen ran to them. "Our position is not good, that dragon took back any time you might have earned us."

"I've seen an arch demon. I was in the fade, but it looked like that." Cole said quietly as he fiddled with his fingers. Ryan didn't know which was more terrifying, that they were dealing with a possible arch demon or that this Cole boy was in the Fade at one point.

"I don't care what it is. It has cut a path for that army. They'll kill everyone in Haven." Cullen hissed. The room went silent for a beat as everyone let that sink in.

"The Elder One doesn't care about the village, he only want's the Herald." Cole looked at Evelyn with distant eyes.

"Then he can have me." She said firmly.

"No!" Ryan shouted from his position on the ground. He stood stiffly. "Over my dead body!" He seethed.

"There isn't a way to make this survivable. We could make one last stand, turn the trebuchets that we have left and cause one last avalanche." Cullen told her slowly.

"That would bury Haven. I can't do that Cullen." Evelyn shook her head.

"Yes, that. Chancellor Roderick can help. He wants to say it before he dies." Cole informed everyone as he stared at the dying clergy man.

"There is a path. You wouldn't know it unless you made the summer pilgrimage, as I have. The people can escape. She must have shown me. Andraste must have shown me so I could... tell you." Roderick rasped.

"Cullen, go with the Chancellor and get these people out of here. I'll turn the trebuchet. Send a signal when you are over the mountain." Evelyn said firmly.

"I'm staying with you." Ryan told her. 

"The hell you are-" Evelyn was about to say more but Ryan cut her off.

"You're not dying in the frozen village by yourself, Evie. You wouldn't leave me." He cut her off. The eldest Trevelyan pressed her lips to a thin line, but eventually nodded. Ryan got to his feet slowly and checked his sword and shield before moving to the door. "Ready?"

"Let's go." Evelyn led them out, and when Ryan looked back he saw how distressed Cullen looked. 

"Good luck, Commander." Ryan bid him before flanking his sister. 

The two of them hacked, slashed, jumped, and evaded their way to the last remaining trebuchet. The Red Templars were scattered around the area, but they seemed to be uncoordinated and tired, which made them easy enough to pick off.

"You turn, I'll defend." Ryan yelled over the commotion of the fight. Evelyn didn't question him and went about cranking the siege weapon into the proper place. The Templars were coming in more numbers now, as if they sensed what was coming for them. Ryan did his best to cut down his opponents, but more than anything he was just trying not to get run through while buying his sister the time she needed.

While blocking against two soldiers an archer nailed him in the upper left arm. With a cry Ryan dropped his shield. Evelyn was there not a moment later running the archer though the back with one of her daggers. Thankful for the distraction Ryan rolled off the ground and to his feet. Leaving his shield on the ground he drove his blade through the soldier closest to him before pulling back. The last soldier raised to swing but was cut short by Evelyn's other dagger being lodged into the back of his head. The body stopped moving before it even hit the ground.

"It's ready." She called to him.

Evelyn went to run back to the firing mechanism but they were cut short by the dragon. The two siblings had just enough time to leap from the path of the flames.

"Evie!" Ryan yelled. He saw her head pop up from the snow, but a strange and heavy weight settled on his back before he could get up to run to her. The dragon's paw held him down to the ground, but it didn't crush him right away, merely applied pressure to squeeze the air from his lungs. Ryan could hear his sister calling his name, but spots danced across his vision, and blood pounded loudly in his ears.

The dark spawn was here. Ryan could see it talking to his sister, but their conversation was drowned out by his failed attempts at breathing and the rumble of the dragon leering over him. Why wasn't it killing him? Seemed this mysterious figure liked to toy with his enemies. That was going to bite him in the ass. Ryan could make out his sister backing up to the firing mechanism.

Evelyn kicked the mechanism and the gears started to turn. The dragon roared angrily and grabbed his dark spawn before taking to the skies. His sister grabbed him by the underarm and drug him to his feet. Everything was moving fast and Ryan tried his best to process everything.

"Move!" Evelyn bellowed in his ear. Ryan didn't know where they were going, but he wasn't going to question it. The snow was sliding towards them and they only had moments. Together the siblings fell into a hole leading to an underground tunnel. The snow sealed them in and everything went dark.

There was groaning and shuffling before Evelyn managed to generate some light by setting fire to some cloth. She wrapped it around one of her daggers and held it like a flaming metal torch.

"You okay?" Ryan asked her as he took stock of his own injuries. His ribs hurt, both arms bleeding in two different places, and his right leg hurt something bad. The fall had lodged a piece of wood in his upper thigh, where it was the meatiest. 

"I think so, you?" Evelyn stumbled over slowly. She seemed to be favoring her left leg. 

"I'll live." Ryan tried for humor, but it sounded more grim that anything else. "You think this tunnel leads into the mountain?"

"One way to find out." His sister mumbled.

Ryan sheathed his sword and helped to support his sister before they slowly made their way down the tunnel. They walked in silence. The only noises were grunts of pain from time to time when one of them applied pressure to limbs that couldn't handle it and their shared breathing. The sound of howling wind caused them to speed up, despite their injuries. They were indeed at the base of the mountain on the other side of Haven. The siblings looked down at the once cozy village. The only clue to a village having been there was a smoke curling up from under the snow.

"It's gone. Everything." Evelyn cried softly. "So many... gone." Ryan blinked back his own tears as he shushed his sister softly.

"Not everyone. Not us. We're going to make this right, but first we have to get to the others before we freeze to death." He readjusted his grip on his sister and forced her to walk.

They walked in silence again, but now with the grunts and breathing was also the occasional sniff from Evelyn as she cried. Soon chattering teeth joined the noises. Ryan started to become fearful, his armor afforded him more warmth, but his sister's leathers weren't enough against such biting cold. He redoubled his efforts, eventually slinging Evelyn onto his back and carrying her.

"Evie?" He asked. He didn't get a response. "Fuck. Fuck! Dammit!" He yelled as he squinted through the snow. He'd been walking for so long. He was tired and cold, and his sister was now unconscious. Both of them injured. "We won't die like this." He hissed into the cold. "We won't, I promise."

His cold bones gained some hope when he came upon a campfire that was still smoldering. "Recent. Close." Ryan slurred. "Evie, close." He told her, or tried to. It came out jumbled between his chattering teeth. There was a groan behind him. 

Ryan managed to take a few more steps. He could hear voices yelling. Screaming at him. He opened his mouth to say something, but everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I love to hear from you guys! Please feel free to leave comments, constructive criticism, or any blurbs you feel like.


	3. This is Skyhold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisition gets their feet back under them after the attack on Haven and establish a new home for themselves.
> 
> (Slightly less intense chapter filled with fluffy feelings, sibling bantering, and overall feel-good-vibes. Some heavy feels are in there, kinda, but overall this is a good chapter where everyone loves everyone. Mostly.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I've been away for so long. School is killing me, but I've found some some time to put a little work into this story. This chapter might be a little choppy, but the next will be better. I promise!  
> Not beta-read.

_"Sir!" A hand wrapped around him, pulling him from the snow. Evelyn's weight was pulled from his back, but he had no idea where she'd been whisked off to. Was she safe? Ryan hoped so because he didn't have the strength to push himself from the snow and pursue. Thankfully he didn't have to. Arthur was looking down at him, wild panic in his eyes. Behind him Jordan was picking up Ryan's fallen shield and sword._

_"Quickly, get them to the camp and under some covers before they freeze to death!" There was another voice. He knew that voice. Who was that?_

The vision faded.

_Someone was crying softly near him. His eyes were closed and everything hurt, but he wasn't cold anymore. "It's my fault. The dragon had him pinned. I should have reacted sooner." That was Evie. Why was she crying? "There wasn't anything you could have done against that beast. You know that. Ryan is a strong lad, he'll recover, he just needs time. He carried you both a fair distance before collapsing. Just give him time." Varric's voice soothed softly. He'd never heard the dwarf take such a soft tone. It reassured and worried him. They were talking like he was dead. Forcing his eyes open he lifted his hand to his sister._

Everything faded again.

_There was a hand holding his tightly. It was big and warm. Whoever was sitting next to him was muttering low under their breath and Ryan struggled to understand what was being said. It was like his head was underwater. Everything was muffled. "Please don't take him. Maker, please." There was that familiar voice again. A name he knew well, but could not place. It was a shame, the voice sounded nice and soothing. Ryan wanted desperately to hold whoever was speaking and assure them that he didn't intend to leave anytime soon. Everything was going to be okay. "Sir, the Herald and Solas have news for you and the others. It's urgent." Another voice entered. Whoever was holding his hand took a deep breath, stroked his hand softly, and then slowly let go._

The voice faded.

All of these voices and images bumping around in his head was very confusing for Ryan. It was hard to tell how much of it was real and how much of it was just his mind playing with him. He opened his eyes slowly and took stock of the pains in his body, because that was real. There was a deep cut in his left arm, unfortunately his shield arm, and another cut on his right leg. That one didn't feel so deep, but it was enough to be smart with him. The worst pain was in his chest and abdominal area. It felt like everything was screaming at him, breathing was painful, but it wasn't difficult which meant that his lungs were at least okay. Lifting his hand he ran it under his shirt and pushed it up to take a look. The dark skin he saw was a rather unpleasant sight. 

"Fuck." He swore as he tenderly pressed against the skin. At least he wasn't cold anymore.

Taking a look around Ryan noted he was in some kind of tent. Around him were scattered medical bandages and ointments that he couldn't even hope to identify. He was sure that this was a healing tent, but on the side there was a crate pushed against the side with papers scattered over it. A makeshift desk, perhaps?

With a grunt Ryan pushed himself into a semi sitting position. It took a lot more effort than his pride was willing to admit. Things were slowly coming back to him. The attack on Haven, the Red Templars, the dragon, the darkspawn. All of it covered in blood and fire. How many made it out? A million things streamed through his mind and he had no idea where to even begin to find answers.

"Look who's awake." A voice called from the front of the tent. The Iron Bull entered, carefully tilting his head so that his horns didn't catch on the fabric of the shelter. "You had a lot of people worried." The qunari told him sternly. There was a tightness behind the big man's eyes. Ryan dared to call it fear. If Bull was scared, that means that Ryan really did have a close call. "How you feeling?"

"A lot of pain, but it isn't unbearable." Ryan told him truthfully. "I still feel so tired, but I'm tired of sleeping. What's going on? What's the word?" Ryan tried to move the covers off his lower half but Bull was quick. One minute he was at the entrance of the tent, the next he moment was was beside Ryan with a hand pressed to his shoulder.

"You need more rest, kiddo. You were almost dead when you were found face down in the snow. Boss lady told us what happened. You were injured, a dragon near crushed you, and then you carried yourself and the boss across a frozen wasteland. I don't know how you Trevelyan people do it, but you defy death at every turn." Bull said slowly. The spy pulled a chair in close and sat down carefully. "Right now we are on the move though the mountains. Solas knows a place, some old fortress, that we can set up base at. It is defensible. You've been out cold for awhile. Two more days and we reach this Skyhold place."

"How is everyone?" Ryan leaned back against the frame of the bed and allowed himself to get comfortable. With Bull here, he knew he wasn't going anywhere.

"Everyone is doing as good as they can with current situation. There is a lot of mourning going on right now with Haven gone. We had a lot less casualties than we originally thought, but there are still a lot dead. The inner circle is worried about you, but you've been improving, so we have some more space to breath. The troops have hope growing among the ranks. Seeing the miracle you and your sister pulled was nothing short of awe inspiring." Bull told him with a soft smile. "It is getting better. Certainly not out of the woods, but things are turning in our favor."

"We're going to kill that darkspawn." Ryan hissed as he placed a hand tenderly over his abdomen.

"That's the spirit!" The qunari clapped him on the shoulder. "How does some food sound?" 

Ryan opened his mouth to respond, but his stomach beat him and let out a rather load gurgling sound. There was a beat where Bull and Ryan just stared at each other before Bull started snickering.

"I take that as a 'yes'." The qunari lifted himself from the chair.

Things were going to get better.

* * *

 

The next two days were blurry for Ryan. The healers of the Inquisition were stretched thin as it was, and since he wasn't in any immediate danger of dying he wasn't high on the priority list. Often times he'd wave off the healers when they did come to check on him. Bull, Krem, and Cassandra helped him with keeping his injuries clean and bandaged up tight. He was more worried about the cut in his shield arm, but Cassandra assured him it was healing nicely and wouldn't affect him in the long run.

When they crested over the last mountain and saw Skyhold everyone was in awe. The place was magnificent. The walls were a little crumbled in places, but otherwise they were sturdy. The bridge was still intact and the hold itself was big and majestic. How a place like this could ever be lost was a mystery to him. How many battles and wars had this place seen? He'd have to ask Solas some time.

Solas was with Evelyn at the front of their convoy leading the way down the mountainside towards the bridge. Ryan stuck with the Chargers, who were bringing up the rear of the convoy and making sure no one fell behind. Dalish and Skinner were talking back and forth about the layout of Skyhold.

"All I know is I could sleep for a week after a trek like this." Dalish finally said as she fingered the string on her bow. The crystal on top of the bow reflected the light of the mid-day sun as she fiddled with the weapon.

"We can sleep once everyone has been settled in." Bull said firmly, booking no chance for a retort.

Grim grunted in the back of his throat.

"Yes, we can grab a drink. What am I, a slave driver?" Bull drawled.

"Do you really want an answer to that?" Krem sassed by his side. The Tervinter man barely ducked in time to miss the swing of Bull's arm. The Chargers busted out in a fit of laughter as Bull seemed to pout to himself and swear at his Second-in-Command in his native language.

Ryan let out a chuckle but was careful not to laugh to hard. The last thing he wanted was to irritate his abdomen and go into a coughing attack. He'd found out that is what happened after Varric told him a joke last night around the camp fire. The poor dwarf had felt awful about the whole thing afterwards and Evelyn almost insisted he be watched the entire night in case he stopped breathing. Or something ridiculous like that.

After the laughter died down the Chargers sobered up a bit and focused on getting down the mountainside.

* * *

The outside of Skyhold didn't do the inside justice. Sure, the place was in shambles at the moment. Years of neglect had caused some of the walls and walk-ways within the hold to crumble and vegetation had become overgrown, but the whole place had potential. Once the Inquisition was set up and back on its feet this place would be whipped up into shape. Now everyone was just trying to settle in. The injured people were currently being placed around the courtyard and being tended to the best that could be allowed. Troops were helping erect tents for temporary shelter and Leliana's spies were running here and there taking stock of all the supplies that had made the journey through the mountains. The advisers had all vanished off to somewhere, but Ryan paid it no mind. He had other things to see to.

Mainly, his sister. Evelyn was running around trying to help whoever she could. Healers, spies, cooks, mages, troops.

"Are you ever going to take a moment to take care of yourself?" Ryan asked his sister as he walked up behind her. The older Trevelyan jumped at the sound of someone behind her.

"Damn it, Ryan!" She swore at him, shooting a glare over her shoulder at him. "Would you not sneak up on me like that? I'm trying to thread this needle."

"First off, I wasn't sneaking up on you. I made plenty of noise to alert you I was coming, and if you didn't hear me that isn't my fault. You're the one who's supposed to be the great rogue." Ryan informed her. "Secondly, why are you trying to thread needles? You suck at sewing."

"They are surgical needles. Our healers are busy enough as it is. They don't need to be wasting time threading needles when I can do it just fine." She explained as she continued where she left off. "Oh, and I do not suck at sewing. I've stitched a ton of your shirts." She sniffed at him.

"Well yes, but they tore again the next day." He told her. Evelyn gave him another glare, but there was some mirth she couldn’t hide behind it.

"Herald." Cassandra waved for Evelyn to follow her. "A moment please."

"Go." Ryan urged, taking the needle from his sister. "I'll do this. The seeker might have something important to share with you."

"Yeah, I'll catch up with you after." Evie rubbed her hands together nervously and gave him a hug before heading off with the Seeker.

* * *

Something important was a bit of an understatement it turns out. Evelyn was made Inquisitor and was then promptly whisked away inside the main hall after all the rousing speeches. Ryan was left a little off-footed by the whole thing. He wanted to follow them inside and be there beside his sister, but he knew better than to just run in and impose. When he was needed they would send for him.

Bull must have sensed his distress somehow. The qunari made it his personal mission to keep Ryan so busy working that his brain didn't have enough time to overthink and panic. The Chargers helped set up tents, unload crates, clean away rubble that was blocking walk ways, and finding small animals to hunt down for food. When it started to get dark they brought their kills to the cooks to be skinned and prepared for dinner.

When Ryan went to look for his sister and check in with her he found she was with Cullen in the courtyard. Both of them were bent over a makeshift desk looking over papers. Troops surrounded the two of them awaiting orders or reporting in. Ryan approached slowly, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.

"It seems we have everything lined out in terms of sleeping arrangements. At least for now. Tomorrow when the light comes back I'll have my men working on cleaning out the inside of the building. Leliana and Josephine have already started working on getting us proper furniture. Guard rotations have been established, but we'll work on getting something better ironed out. The mages are currently awaiting orders, but many of them are tied up with helping heal injuries and I didn't want to put more on their plate." Cullen reported as he shifted papers in his hands.

"Good. I think we've done all we can tonight. Get some rest Commander." Evelyn clapped him on the shoulder, but Cullen showed no sign of leaving the desk just yet. The Trevelyan let out a long sigh and turned away from him.

Ryan felt himself get pulled a few feet away by a tired looking Evie.

"How are you doing?" She asked him softly. "I've heard from Bull you've had a long day."

"I'm sure it hasn't been as long as your day." Ryan assured her with a grin. "Inquisitor now. What a title. I wonder what our parents will think when the news reaches them."

"Yeah." His sister looked a bit uncomfortable. "First I'm the Herald and now I'm the leader of the Inquisition. Soon they will be trying to turn me into the next Divine." She grumbled.

 "Well, then we are doomed." The young warrior teased. His sister shoved his shoulder roughly. A twinge went down his back, but Ryan covered the pain before his sister could notice.

"Thank you for that confidence boost." Evelyn groaned. "I can't even convince my Commander to get proper rest. How am I supposed to convince these men and women that they've placed their trust in someone competent?"

Ryan snorted and shook his head at her. "Cassandra told me awhile back that Ferelden people could be insanely stubborn when they want to be. I'm sure Cullen has convinced himself that Haven was somehow his fault." The young Trevelyan turned to eye Cullen's back. The man was hunched over the desk still, turning papers over and jotting down notes.

"I'm worried about him." Evelyn finally broke the silence. "Go talk to him. Maybe you can make him see sense."

"Me? You think I can convince him when you couldn't?" Ryan spluttered. Evie just shrugged her shoulders.

"I think it is worth a shot. You both spend a lot of time together. More than he and I. He might hold you in higher regards." She explained slowly. "Look, please just talk to him. Try. For me." Now she was begging. "He has been on his feet since Haven, he hasn't been eating right, and I'm sure out of all of us he is the one with the least amount of rest under his belt."

"Alright! Alright, I'll talk to him." Ryan sighed. He ran his hand over his face slowly. He was tired himself and wanted nothing more than to eat and go to bed, but Cullen's health was a concern and Ryan wasn't about to let the man drive himself into an early grave. "Get some rest alright. I'll talk to you in the morning." He gave his sister a hug before letting her walk off to her own tent for some much-needed rest.

Ryan approached Cullen slowly as he wracked his brain for a way to open up a conversation. Thankfully he didn't have to because Cullen turned his head and gave one of those small smiles that made the young warrior turn to putty on the inside.

"Ryan, I haven't seen you in some time. How are your injuries fairing?" The Commander straightened up and rested his hands on the pommel of his sword. Despite the clear signs of sleep deprivation Cullen managed to look as imposing as ever.

"Some still hurt from time to time, but the bruises make it look a lot worse than it actually is. Cassandra and Bull have been helping me bandage up the ones that haven't healed completely." He told the Commander truthfully. Cullen got a far look in his eyes, so Ryan was quick to keep talking. He didn't want the other man to go to some dark place. "I'm assuming you've been busy these past few days. I miss our talks."

"I've missed them as well. Unfortunately, I'll be tied up for a while. Perhaps another time." Cullen turned back to the desk. It was a clear dismissal, but Ryan was determined.

"Have you eaten yet? You shouldn't skip meals." Ryan said casually.

"I can wait a little longer." Cullen said offhandedly.

"That isn't healthy, Cullen. Your health is important." Ryan tried to prod again. He noticed the back of Cullen's shoulders tense.

"There are more important things to be concerned about." His tone had gone from tired to tense, but the Trevelyan was still not willing to let go.

"Cullen." He said gently, resting a hand on the Commander's shoulder. The muscle there twitched at the touch and Ryan feared he might soon be punched for the action. "Please. If not for your own peace of mind, then for mine. Come eat."

There was a long pause where Cullen didn't move or say anything. He was seemingly lost in his thoughts, but finally he turned to look at Ryan and the expression of the Commander's face made the young warrior's heart shatter. His eyes held so many mixed emotions. Sadness. Anger. Grief. It was a deadly concoction of emotions for someone to hold on to.

"You almost died." Cullen said slowly as he grabbed Ryan by the arms and held him. It was like Cullen still didn't believe they'd made it out of Haven. "We thought you and your sister died to that dragon and even after you somehow managed to get the both of you to the camp we still thought we'd lose you. You'd been sleeping for days. The healers couldn't do anything for you." His voice cracked. "And the entire time you were like that all I could think about was how we could have done things differently. What could we have done to fortify Haven better? How could we have gotten more warning about the Templars? A force like that shouldn't have gone unnoticed. So many people died." He paused. "And you were almost one of them."

"I'm okay." Ryan assured the older man. Cullen stared at the bloody bandage wrapped around his upper arm. While moving rubble with the Chargers he'd scrapped some of the scabbing off his injury and it bled. "Hey." Ryan moved one hand to rest over Cullen's. "This isn't your fault. None of it was. There are a lot of things that went wrong, but no one is to blame for it. We didn't expect some darkspawn son-of-a-bitch and his pet dragon to show up and turn us on top of our heads. We got lucky so many of us made it out. But don't for one-minute think that you're responsible." Ryan said vehemently.

Cullen looked unconvinced but there was a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Alright. Let's go eat." The Commander used a paper weight to keep the papers from flying off the desk before motioning for Ryan to lead the way.

They made their way to where the cooks had set up a place to dole out rations. The troops greeted their Commander with small smiles and kind words. Cullen responded with curt polite nods and short but respectful responses. While it seemed he appreciated his troops it was also clear that Cullen was trying to fend off any actual conversation. Once the both of them had a bowl of food Ryan led them both to a set of stairs located in one of the corners of the courtyard. Josephine and Blackwall were a bit of a ways off, but close enough to wave to in greeting. Blackwall's coat was thrown over Josephine's shoulders to ward off the cold as the two of them sat together on a low crumbled wall. Ryan found them both oddly cute together. Cullen and Ryan exchanged small talk about patrols and logistics of the next few days. Ryan bounced ideas off Cullen about possible improvements to Skyhold when the time came, and where everything would be moved to once rubble was cleaned out of the way. They shifted from work talk to sharing jokes and jabs at one another.

"What is it with Fereldens and dogs?" Ryan snorted as he placed his empty bowl beside him. "I get that Mabari are a good breed, but you guys love those dogs a little too much in my opinion."

"A Mabari can sense when someone is of good quality. Josephine should have one in her office when she meets people to make alliances. We'd be a lot better off that way." Cullen insisted. His expression was completely serious and Ryan couldn't help but bust into a fit of laughter. The Commander just huffed indignantly. "You wouldn't understand until you have one yourself."

"Alright. I'll let you have that one." Ryan sighed as he composed himself. Taking a note of his surroundings he noticed that most everyone had cleared off and were headed to bed, if not already asleep. "Damn it got late quick." Cullen hummed in agreement and gathered their bowls.

They dropped the dishes off to be cleaned in the morning and Cullen walked Ryan to his tent.

"You are going to bed, right? Not going to sneak off to the desk to do more work, because I swear to the Maker that if I go to check on you and you aren't in bed I will punch you." Ryan threatened. Cullen just snorted lightly.

"Yes, I will be getting some rest." Cullen noticed the skeptical look that was being shot at him. "I promise. I will go straight to bed once I leave." The Trevelyan finally dropped the look and gave an approving nod.

Opening the flap to his tent Ryan stepped in but stopped short.

"Shit. Cassandra and Bull must be sleeping by now." He whispered to himself.

"What's wrong?" The Commander stepped further into the tent allowing the flap to flip close behind him.

"Normally either Bull or Cassandra help me dress the cuts on my back with ointment. I can't reach some of them." Ryan chewed his lip in thought. "Could you..." He trailed off embarrassed.

"Of course." Cullen said quickly as he shed his gloves.

Ryan handed him the container of healing salve, but he hesitated a moment. He'd have to take off his shirt in front of Cullen and sure, Ryan was in good shape. There wasn't anything to be ashamed of, but his skin wasn't pretty at the moment and since he hadn't been working out the past few days his tone was starting to fade. A small voice in his head was voicing self-doubt.

"Something wrong?" Cullen pressed, sensing that something was wrong since Ryan was hesitating.

"I just. Um. My back is pretty beat up." Ryan stumbled over his words a bit. "And I promise the bruises look a lot worse than they actually are so... don't worry about them." The young warrior gripped them bottom of his shirt before pulling it over his head.

Cullen's eyes ran over the exposed skin with shock. The bruises were fading, but it was still bad. Purple, yellow, and green stretched across his chest and abdomen. His back was the worst of it. The dragon's scales had torn some of his flesh and left small cuts across his back. Ryan turned around quickly, not able to stand seeing Cullen's horror. He really wished it was Cassandra or Bull here with him. They were at least used to the image by now enough to not have the shock written plainly on their faces. The young Trevelyan was lost in his own thoughts that he jumped when Cullen touched his back with gentle hands.

"Sorry. Did I hurt you?" Cullen asked, immediately pulling his hand away as if he'd been burned.

"No! No, it's fine. I just wasn't expecting the touch. Continue." At Ryan's urging Cullen started to apply the salve to the small cuts.

The younger warrior lost track of time as Cullen worked on his back. His hands were steady and gentle, touch just hard enough to spread the healing ointment, but light enough to not irritate the damaged skin. For some reason it was taking Cullen longer to finish patching him up then it did Cassandra or Bull, but Ryan wasn't going to complain. Not when Cullen was running his hand down the younger man's spine. A shiver ran across him that he couldn’t suppress. It had been a long time since someone touched him so tenderly.

"Cold?" The Commander inquired.

"Yes." Ryan lied. He mentally slapped himself. Cullen was just helping him out, this wasn't the time to let his mind run away with fantasies. "I can get the rest. You should head to bed. We all have a long day tomorrow." Ryan turned around and took the container from Cullen's hands.

"Indeed." Cullen wiped his hands off on a cloth supplied to him by Ryan, but before exiting he cast one last look at the younger warrior's chest. "If you need help with the salve just ask."

"Will do." Ryan managed not to let his voice choke. "Have a good night Cullen. I'll see you in the morning."

Cullen gave him a smile, the scar curling on his lips in the best way, before nodding his head and leaving the tent. Once Ryan was sure he was out of hearing he let out a shaking breath and tried to compose himself. His body was heating up at the thought of Cullen's touch. What would that feel like on different parts of his body?

"Fuck." Ryan hissed as he prepared for bed. He could only pray that he wouldn't dream of the Commander and alert the whole world to his affection.

* * *

The next few days passed like a blur. People were pouring into Skyhold each day offering help and services that were desperately needed. Evelyn, Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine were locked away in the war room for most hours of the day. Masons, cooks, healers, and soldiers poured their efforts into building and securing Skyhold. Walk-ways were reconstructed, vegetation was pulled into control, the stables were now in working order for the horses, food storage was well managed and maintained. Everything was slowly falling into place. Every day they had people getting back on their feet and adding to the effort. They did have some deaths still, and it was sad. People were still mourning, but with the threat looming over them all there wasn't time to let the loss drag them down. It was harsh, but it was reality.

"Sir Trevelyan." A troop was walking up to him at a brisk pace. "The Lady Seeker has asked you to speak with her behind the tavern at your earliest convince."

"Thank you. I'll see her now." Ryan stood from his chair. He'd been helping Cullen outline some better patrol times for troops. Now that they were a little more organized they'd been able to ask the ranks the times they'd prefer to work. Everyone still had to pull their weight, but at least they'd have some say in when they did their patrols. Some people felt better in the daylight, and others in the night time. Folding the paper, he tucked it into his inside shirt pocket before setting out to see Cassandra.

The Seeker was practicing her swordsmanship when he arrived. Upon seeing his Cassandra dropped her stance and gave him an easy-going smile.

"Thank you for coming so quick. I didn't interrupt anything, did I?" She inquired.

"Not at all. What did you want to talk about?" Ryan asked as he took a seat on a tree stump. Cassandra made herself comfortable on the log across from him.

"I wanted to start the practice sessions again. We have morning and evening drills, but there are some of the troops that are slightly behind on their forms. They have promise, but they need more instruction. I've already talked to Bull and he has agreed with me. Commander Cullen is busy with War Table issues, so we'd like you to take his place as an instructor." She explained smoothly. "Of course, this will be once you are fully healed."

"I can still instruct, Cassandra. I may be a little beat up, but I'm not made of glass." Ryan complained.

"Absolutely not. Cullen will have my head if he finds out I let you regress on your healing." The Seeker stressed. "He is very worried about you. Ever since he helped you dress your wounds he has been distracted. Although if it is from the actual injury I'm not sure."

Ryan almost choked on his spit.

"What?" He spluttered. Cassandra gave him a sly grin.

"I may not see you in a romantic way, but I'd be blind if I told you that you were not visually appealing." Cassandra stated forwardly. "Cullen is not a blind man either."

"He isn't interested." Ryan told her firmly.

"You're so sure?" The Seeker asked coyly.

"Positive." Ryan assured.

The Seeker hummed to herself but said nothing more on the subject. Instead she stood and readied herself to start her training again.

"You should speak with Josephine. She was asking for your opinion on the decor for the inside of the main hall. I think she might be at her desk at this time." Cassandra told him before resuming her sword training.

Ryan got the sinking feeling that him bouncing between people and preforming odd tasks was going to become a reoccurring thing. It didn't matter though, if he was being helpful then he'd just suck it up and deal with being a messenger boy. As he passed by the Tavern and up the stairs he saw Sera running out of the building giggling like a mad woman. Not a moment later there was a visiting nobleman running after screaming something at her in Orlesian tongue. For a moment he was tempted to step in and see what was going on, but once he caught sight of bees flying around he decided that was a whole lot of not-his-business and continued to Josephine's desk.

Opening the door, he was greeted by a sight that made a smile curl on his face. Josephine was behind her desk but bent over with a hand on her mouth trying to quell the laughter that was coming out. Blackwall was leaned on one of the corners of the desk with his arms crossed over his chest looking rather pleased with himself. It was clear they'd been in the middle of a conversation, and if Josephine's dark face was anything to go by, it was a rather humorous conversation.

"That did not happen!" Josephine argued once she'd gotten some composure of herself.

"I swear on my honor that it did. He ran right back out screaming his head off. We had to send two people in to check the cave. There were spiders in the cave, but they were no bigger than the size of your thumb." Blackwall chuckled.

"Oh my." The Ambassador sighed. "You'd think by his reaction he'd seen one of those monstrous overgrown spiders."

"Indeed. I'm sure the Duke hasn't forgotten about it." The Warden shook his head with another chuckle. Blackwall finally noticed Ryan standing off by the door and straightened up.

"Ryan. Good to see you, lad." The Warden extended his hand which Ryan accepted in greeting.

"Good to see you too, Blackwall. I heard you've been keeping busy helping Dennet with our horses. I'll have to stop by and see them for myself some time." Ryan looked at Josephine. "Cassandra told me that you had some questions for me about decorations?"

"Oh, no. That is my cue to leave. I'm horrid with decorating." Blackwall mumbled. He gathered himself off the desk and wished the Ambassador a good day before striding out to get back to whatever work he needed to be attending to.

It was almost easy to miss, but Ryan noted the small flicker of sadness across Josephine's face as the Warden left her office. If the young Trevelyan didn't know any better he'd say that there was a small romance brewing here in Skyhold. It was rather odd to think about, but Josephine and Blackwall did complement each other in certain ways. Her grace, culture, and peace-making abilities paired nicely with his strength, courage, and forwardness. Perhaps he'd have to drop a line with Leliana and Cassandra. Those two women were much better at scheming than he was.

"Thank you for coming." Josephine straightened up some papers on her desk as she waved for him to step closer. "Skyhold, as you know, has been undergoing a lot of work and repairs. I am trying to decide on how exactly to decorate the place so that we may entertain more guests. Presentation is not everything, but it is a huge part of the Inquisition." She explained slowly.

"I'm well aware of how important image can be Josephine." Ryan assured her as he pulled up a chair to sit beside her. There were a lot of options spread across her desk. "I may be a noble from the Free Marches, but being a noble anywhere has some reoccurring themes. Image is one of them."

"Yes. Thank the Maker you understand!" She cried out in exasperation. "I've been trying to drive this point home to the Inquisitor, but she simply thinks that the nobles of Orlais will overlook our ragged appearance because of Haven. And, yes, we have some time but soon it will not be acceptable to look this... barbaric." The Ambassador sighed. 

"Evie wasn't much into fashion and to be honest with you neither was I." Ryan told her truthfully. "However, I will try and help to my best ability."

Together the both of them poured over designed and color schemes. As soon as Ryan thought they'd ironed something out Josephine pulled out another stack of options. Drapes, chairs, tables, bowls, plates, windows, beds, sheets, posts, and brick were all discussed and carefully chosen. The overall reoccurring theme hues of red and gold with a splash of silver lining. It was very regal in Ryan's opinion, but it wasn't tacky. The prominent design was more Inquisition based, but there were touches of Andrastian thrown in. After all, Evelyn was the Herald of Andraste, it only made sense to have a nod to the name sake. By the time they were finishing up Ryan's eyes were burning and tired. They'd worked well past lunch and dinner.

"Thank you so much, Ryan." Josephine was carefully clipping together all their selections into one stack of papers. "I'm sorry I took up so much of your day. I honestly didn't think it would take this long, but I'm sure you understand how important this was." The Ambassador looked a little guilty for having kept him so long, but the young warrior just gave her a small smile.

"Don't worry about it, Ambassador. I'm here if you ever need help." Ryan stood slowly and popped his back. 

"I do have something for you!" Josephine chirped as she rummaged through the drawers in her desk. "We got most of the rooms in the castle cleaned up and furnished. Here is your key. The room is beside your sister’s on the second floor. It is a rather breath-taking view." 

"Thank you." Ryan said dumbly as he was handed the key. He knew the second floor had the better rooms of the castle and honestly was expecting the spare room to be used for guests. 

After saying goodbye and wishing Josephine a good night Ryan slunk away to the kitchens to grab some dinner. The cooks gave him reprimanding looks for having missed dinner but didn't protest about whipping him up something small to eat once he'd explained that he'd been held up with some Inquisition business. One of the older Feralden woman who worked as a cook made sure to give him a little extra meat on his plate before shooing him out so they could finish cleaning for the night. 

Food in hand Ryan made his way to his new room. The room was big. Not nearly as big as Evelyn's but still big. It was more space than he'd ever use that was for sure. Setting his plate down on the desk he took a good look at the furnishings. There was a desk pushed close to one corner with a plush chair and sturdy bookcase behind it. His bed was enormous and draped with warm blankets and some furs lined the bottom of it for his feet when he got out of bed in the mornings. The drapes over the large windows were heavy and thick in order to block out the sunlight and heat. On the right side of the room there was a door that opened into a closet for his to hang his clothes. A dresser was stationed beside it to hold his clothes that he didn't want to hang. On the left side of the room there was another door that opened into a small room with a tub and wash basin. The window in that small bath room opened up completely in case he wanted a view of the mountains while he bathed.

"Wow." Ryan breathed as he ran his hand through his hair. 

All of this was a little too much for him. Instead of thinking about the situation Ryan sat down at the desk and began to eat his dinner before it could get cold.

The main thought that kept bouncing in his mind was:  _This is Skyhold._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always feedback is greatly appreciated and adored!


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